Counting Sheep

For the past couple of nights, I CANNOT sleep (could someone please tell me that insomnia is a sign of impending labor?). I'm exhausted all day, but the second my head hits the pillow, I'm wide awake. Today I even skipped out on any type of nap, thinking that if I could make myself tired enough, I would be able to sleep. But after almost two hours of trying, I am surrendering. All of this late-night wakefullness has left me with many quiet hours of introspection. Tonight, I keep thinking about when Rob and I first started to date.
I remember the night in Peru, just below the Pass we'd just hiked that day. Sam and Rob and I were all sitting and looking at the stars of the Southern Hemisphere, talking and feeling the ebb and flow of simply Being. He put his arm around me, and although he hadn't said it, I could feel him communicating it was more than "just friends". The first time we ever held hands was in Lima, Peru, walking back to the hostel with Monica's medicine.
I remember how natural it felt, the way I was just able to reach out and take his hand without even really thinking about it. We were close to the ocean and I could feel the salt in the air. We stayed up talking really late that night. Our first kiss was on an airplane, above the sunset-stained clouds. We touched down in Baltimore, but I'm not sure that either one of us really left the clouds. Driving from Baltimore back to DC, where we were both living and working at the time, we talked about transitioning our relationship from "vacation mode" to "real life mode" and what changes would need to occur. When he dropped me off, I didn't want to get out of the car because I didn't want to loose the magical flush that was suffusing the world. I was certain that the minute we both went back to work, it would fade. It didn't. It never really has. I still feel that muted sense of wonder, the deep joy of shared life.

Being married has been the most fun I've ever had in my life; all of the adventures, misadventures, and learning experiences we've had, and how great it's been to be just the two of us. It was hard for me to make the decision to add a third to Us. But things with the dog worked out pretty well, and Rob was able to convince me to add a fourth to our coupledom. I feel a little like I did that night we were just getting back to DC, a little hesitant to step into the next chapter. I have so enjoyed having these years just to ourselves. The baby-thing is scary. But there's nobody I'd rather do it with. Hell, there's nobody else who'd put up with nine(ten) months of pregnant, ornery, cursing Me, and still love me on the other side of it.
Here's to the future, babe. Love you.




PS- It makes me really mad that I can't get the stupid time-stamp on my blog--or email--to recognize what time zone I'm in. I've changed it about a zillion times, and even done the interactive Help feature. Didn't work. What does it think, that I live in Japan or something? There's a 5 hour difference between the time it has, and the time it is.